Silence

I’ve stayed mainly silent on my social media posts and also on this blog. I’ve done it because I don’t know what to say. Just like so many others, I don’t feel I can articulate what I am feeling. I don’t feel well educated enough and I don’t want to say anything that will cause harm.

But I cannot keep silent any longer.

2020 has been so very hard. So very hard on so many. Covid-19 has changed our world on so many levels.

This meme is very meaningful to me and sums up my feelings.

For me and my husband, Covid-19 hasn’t really hurt us at all. Ron is in the cable business and more than ever, people have needed their cable and internet. He works alone and has gone in to work every day. He stays in the hubs and works tirelessly to make sure ten of thousands of people in our neck of the woods are able to stay connected.

My work can be done at home and my company closed our offices on March 12th. I’ve worked every day and have never missed a beat. Yes, my days have changed and I have gotten used to WebEx and Microsoft Teams meetings as the new normal.

Our storm has been the sprinkling one and has been quite peaceful. I struggled a bit being alone and was sad for a while but I snapped out of it pretty quickly and have really gotten into a great routine.

However, some people that are very close to me are experiencing this storm so very differently:

  • I have a niece that works in a furniture factory that has come down with the virus. She has several auto-immune diseases already and when she called me to tell me she tested positive for Covid-19, I could hear the fear in her voice. Thanks be to God that her symptoms have been manageable so far and her husband and children have tested negative and are symptom free.
  • I have another niece that has a small business that was forced to close down for many weeks. This storm for her has nearly killed her financially.
  • I have several close friends and family members that have lost their jobs. At first they were furloughed but now their companies have terminated them. The fear in their voices is so very real as they try to find new employment in the worst job environment since the Great Depression.
  • My 2 daughters work in retail and they have worked all through the pandemic. They’ve struggled with the fear of bringing home the virus to their small children and have stripped each day as they come home and do not hug their families until after they have showered and changed clothes.

I’m still scared about the virus but I know I cannot live in fear. I’ll keep wearing my mask. I’ll keep social distancing. I’ll keep washing my hands and trying not to touch my face. And I’ll keep praying every day for a cure.

Now for the other pandemic.

I first learned of what happened to George Floyd from my youngest daughter’s boyfriend. I watched the video and a part of me died right there along with George. I was numb for days and couldn’t speak about what happened.

This meme made me break down and ugly cry like I have never cried before.

I can’t embed the Facebook post that hit home the most for me. The privacy settings have changed or something. But it is the one of the man walking his fluffy dog holding his young daughter’s hand. I hope you have seen it.

You see, I can go for a run at most any time without a single thought for my safety. Yes, I carry mace for the random stray dog but I don’t worry about getting shot or harassed by the police. My granddaughter’s father cannot do this. The only way he can safely go for a walk is if he is walking my fluffy dog and holding on to my sweet grand-daughter’s hand.

On my social media feed you’ll continue to see my posts of micro-greens, juices, runs, workouts, and selfies with my hubby. But with every glass of juice, please know that I am so much more. From this day forward I am going to do my very best to become educated and not stay silent. When you see my feeds from now on, I hope you will know where I stand. And I stand with my granddaughter and her dad.

Much love and prayers for peace always!

2 thoughts on “Silence

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